NEVЯLAND--Suffer the Children Book Trailer

My first attempt at a book trailer.

A bit longer than most book trailers, but I like it. Rather dramatic.

Thank God for LBJ's 1964 fear-mongering ads against Barry Goldwater. I've used the infamous Daisy Ad and the War on Poverty Ad to highlight the book trailer.



I enjoyed putting it together. It took about four different versions before I settled on this one.

One interesting side effect of making the book trailer is that the process of creating a visual interpretation of my story has inspired me to keep going and even generated new ideas and new enthusiasm for the tale.

I'm sure a professional book trailer maker could do a more precise and shorter version, but I still like this first attempt.

Now, back to writing the tale!

Be well.

See you on the bookshelf.

Larry Mike

Laynie NEVЯLAND Code Solved: 2 Prizes Left!

NEVЯLANDer Teresa R. has solved the code Laynie uses in the sub-headings to tell her story.

She gets the one-of-a-kind NEVЯLAND Stein.

Several others are close but not quite there yet.

I'm still waiting for the second and third NEVЯLANDers to solve Laynie's code.

The second NEVЯLANDer to solve the code will a receive nifty one-of-a-kind signed NEVЯLAND t-shirt.

The third NEVЯLANDer to solve the code will receive a nifty one-of-a-kind signed NEVЯLAND mouse pad.

I'll post pics of the mouse pad and t-shirt soon.

You can join the NEVЯLAND Facebook Group by ticking HERE.

I appreciate those of you who have taken an interest in this.

Remember, TWO MORE PRIZES are offered--so don't give up!

See you on the bookshelf!

Be well,
Larry Mike

NEVRLAND: Suffer the Children, Chapters 01-04, now on Scribd

NEVRLAND: Suffer the Children, Chapters 01-04, now on Scribd

NEVRLAND--Part 01: Rapture--Chapter 04

NEVRLAND--Part 01: Rapture--Chapter 04


Submitted for your approval.



Be well,
Larry Mike

OpenOffice.org Suite: A Convert Explains His Conversion

I'm a recent convert to OpenOffice.org's suite of office programs. I'm slowly weaning myself off any and all Microsoft Office programs, and this includes PowerPoint and Excel.

Read the rest of the blog at LarryMikeGarmon.com

New Post at LarryMikeGarmon.com; Chap 03 on Scribd.com

Dear Curious Reader,

As I have previously stated, I have simplified my life by combining my website, Talewright blog, and NEVЯLAND blog into one.

I've turned my website into a WordPress blog.

My life is so much simpler now.

Tick the image or my name to be taken there: LarryMikeGarmon.com

You can subscribe from there.

The new web/WordPress site also contains NEVЯLAND news and excerpts.

New NEVЯLAND Website Look:

I've added a second Theme Song as well: "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep". This is really a creepy song about a boy (Baby Don) who goes to sleep hearing his mother singing a song and then awakens the next day to find both Momma and Poppa are gone "far, far away". The reason it's creepy for me is because it's such an upbeat, happy song for such a terrifying situation, especially for a child!

NEVЯLAND Excerpts:

I'm posting NEVЯLAND excepts on my website and also through Scribd.com.

Just go to LarryMikeGarmon.com and you'll see the excerpt posting in the middle column labeled Recent Musings.

Tick HERE for the Scribd.com version.

Hope you and those for whom you care and love are happy and healthy.

See you the bookshelves.

Larry Mike

Posting to Website

To simplify my life, I'm posting both the Talewright and NEVЯLAND blogs on my website.

This will also prevent me from duplicating blogs.

Basically, it boils down to this: Do I want to be blogger or a writer?

The answer is simple.

So, if you check here, you won't find blogs newer than this one.

Instead, tick HERE to go to the Official Domain to read the latest blogs about the writing life (Talewright) and for news about and the progress of my WIP, NEVЯLAND.

See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike

If I Weren't Crazy, I'd Go Insane

This is an experiment: workshopping my latest novel NEVЯLAND Online for readers and fans.

I'm running naked across the soccer field during the World Cup in front of God and everybody.

Am I crazy to do this? Of course I am.

But, I'm having fun, learning much, seeing Story from a different perspective, and enjoying the community of readers and writers in an organic writing and telling of Story!

One reason I'm doing this is because I live in the boonies and don't have a regular writers support group.

Another reason I'm doing this is because I still have yet to find a critique partner or two with whom he/she and I can be consistent and faithful in responding to and evaluating our respective stories. It's as much my fault as anybody else's.

And still another reason is because I value what readers think and how a reader looks at Story.

At the recent SCBWI, I heard one writer described as a writer's writer. That's really quite a mantle to bestow upon a writer.

Then I got to thinking: which would I prefer? Being a writer's writer or a reader's writer. Actually, somewhere in between would be the best place to be on the bookshelves.

The Twilight Saga is an extremely successful series with Readers despite that many Writers find much fault in the technicalities of the stories themselves; whereas, the Harry Potter series is mega-successful because it is able to run the entire spectrum of Reader-and-Writer approval and appeal to all sensibilities.

(To be honest, I really don't care which direction NEVЯLAND takes as long as the books are flying off the shelves and through the checkout line and/or being downloaded to many, many Kindles, iPads, and Sony E-readers!)

I'm inviting you not just to watch Story in the form of NEVЯLAND being created but to be an active participant--and I want to know what you think, generate ideas about the characters, setting, themes, and be an active participant in the evolution of a story--whether you're a Reader only or Writer-Reader.

The 19th Century Writers such as Dickens and Poe did this to a certain extent, often revising their novels, stories, and poems based on initial reader reaction.

The 21st Century Writer has an even better opportunity to workshop his Story to a larger audience and with much more speed and input than Dickens or Poe could ever imagine!


Feedback is welcomed, encouraged, and expected--even about the typos!

NEVЯLAND Excerpts: An Experiment in Craziness

See you on the bookshelves.

Be well!

Larry Mike

When Pets become Food; Life Goes On--Part 01

My wife doesn't want to hear about this part of the NEVЯLAND saga, but I tell her anyway.

I like to bounce ideas off Nadya and gauge her reaction.

When I told her about how the Children in NEVЯLAND round up the larger dogs and cats and begin breeding them for food, she said, "I don't want to hear about this."

Ah, I knew I had a good plot device. That's the reaction I wanted.

Sometimes we have to look at the horrible reality to understand the ugly Truth.

I have no problem being a full human being who eats the flesh of animals.

Perhaps that is why I wouldn't have any problem eating Rover or Fluffy if it meant surviving or starving to death.

"Why can't they just eat cows?" Nadya asked.

Well, for one thing, there's this invisible Wall that doesn't let anything get in or out of the city, which means no replenishment of food supplies.

Besides that, for four weeks now, the Children have had no contact with the outside world and some are beginning to suspect they are all on their own--that they are the last people on the face of the Earth.

If they are to survive, they will have to eat whatever they can.

The food from the stores, homes, and restaurants won't last forever.

They can grow vegetables, but that won't be enough.

Remember, there's nearly 4,000 Children left in Junebug.

They will need meat. And when the meat from the homes, restaurants, and stores run out, large dogs and cats are the natural answer.

Cruel? Really?

What would you do?

That's a sincere question--I'd really like to know.

I fully expect the vegans, the pseudo-vegetarians, and the fanatical pet lovers to use guilt-trip tactics to raise a maudlin defense for not eating the dogs and cats.

Mmmm! You see cute kittens. I see Hot Wings!

One vegan told me once, "I don't eat anything with a face on it."

I wouldn't have minded the comment except that it was said in a rather judgmental way and designed to swell up some sort of guilt feelings within me as I chomped down on my delicious pork.

"Well," I replied, "do you eat heads of lettuce, ears of corns, hearts of artichoke, baby peas, finger sandwiches, et cetera?"

He was not amused.

My point is, Humans eat other living things. Humans are built to eat both plants and vegetables. Full Humans take advantage of the Natural ability to eat both.

Funny: the Human race has not survived for hundreds of thousands of years listening to the PC crowd or avoiding the flesh of other animals.

In fact, those who raise the hue and cry about eating pets are silent on the whole human-flesh-eating-zombie craze.

Nearly lost in all this talk of eating the household pets is the birth of the first Child since the Disappearance.

We'll chew the fat on that subject in Part 02.

See you on the bookshelves,

Larry Mike

The Laws of God: Heil the New Hitler

One of the questions NEVЯLAND forces us to confront is our sense of morality and ethics and what we teach our Children.

Children are clean slates upon which society writes its rules as well as a sense of right and wrong.

What we do today to our Children just doesn't echo into the future--it CREATES the future.

Children become what they see, hear, and learn at home and then at school and from their friends, and especially from the media.

From Grimms' "The Raven" through today's headlines of young racist and child suicide bombers, Children are the battleground for the next generation's sense of Right and Wrong.

Today's ongoing battles for the hearts and minds of our children are fought in our schools, our political arenas, our churches/synagogues/mosques/temples, and our homes. From sexual orientation to political correctness to fascism to conservatism to libertarianism to progressive-ism. . . .Who's Right? Who's Wrong?

Is it any wonder our Children prefer to get lost in the virtual world of Internet chat rooms and video gaming when the Adults of this world appear to simply not have a clue as to what the Hell they are doing?

Whose vision of Humanity is to prevail?

So, what happens when all the jaded lessons of the Adults are stripped away?

What will Children, unfettered by the fears, prejudices, and shortcomings of Adult angst and bias, decide is the ultimate Right and Wrong, the Rules of the Universe, the Laws of God?

In Lord of the Flies, we get a horrifying glimpse of a world ruled by Children--of savagery, of chaos, of injustice, of hopelessness.

But in the end, Adults show up to restore order.

What if the Adults were never to return, to show up and to save the day?

What if Children, despite their initial childish joy of being free from Adults, realize to their great horror that no Adult will miraculously appear in the nick-of-time and make everything all right again.

Would not a strong leader have to prevail? Would not a Tyrant have to arise to ensure that Law and Order are instituted and maintained if the Children are to survive?

Would not another Stalin, another Pol Pot, another Augustus Caesar, another Hitler, a child Louis Farrakhan emerge to ensure Order and Survival--even among children?

Do really think that Children, nurtured by the prejudices, biases, and shortcomings of their Parents, are really going to join hands, sing "Kumbaya", and everyone will just "get along"?

Do you really think that?

NEVЯLAND doesn't pretend to be easy or soft.

The truth never is.

Take care,

Larry Mike

Junebug, Oklahoma 74666--Where Hell Comes Sweeping down the Plains

One question I've been asked is, "Where is Junebug, Oklahoma?"

Simply, Junebug, Oklahoma, is in the southwest corner of Oklahoma on the border of Jackson and Harmon counties.

Junebug, Oklahoma's zip code is 74666.




You understand the symbolism.

Another question I've been asked is, "How did you come up with the name 'Junebug'?"

Over 20 years ago, the State of Oklahoma had a series of public service announcements about littering.

The PSAs featured a stereotypical Okie complete with beer gut, four-day stubble, cut-off country style shirt, ball cap, and soiled-ripped jeans. He drove a pickup.
And his name was Bubba.

Bubba lived in the town of Junebug, Oklahoma.

When I went to the library to search the map for the location of Junebug, I found there was no such city. (This is pre-Google days.)

So, I took the name and created my own small SW-Oklahoma town and county complete with its own unique and horrifying history.

You can read about the founding and horrific history of Junebug, Oklahoma, HERE.

I published some Junebug stories--all of them horror and macabre.

One day I received an email from an elderly woman who claimed she had lived near Junebug, Oklahoma, and wondered if it still existed or if was one of the hundreds of Oklahoma ghost towns.

Once again, I went to the library (pre-Google, remember) and did a more thorough search for Junebug.

No such town has ever existed in the State of Oklahoma, Indian Territory, or Oklahoma Territory.

This lady, though, insisted she have lived not far from Junebug, Oklahoma, and even knew people who had lived there back in the 1910s and 1920s.

No amount of persuasion on my part could convince her that I had gotten the idea from a TV PSA about littering and that I had created the town and the country from my fevered imagination.

Perhaps creating a realistic town and setting that people think they remember is actually what a writer should be doing.

I took the lady's persistence that Junebug, Oklahoma, was a real town from her childhood memory as a huge compliment!

So, when NEVЯLAND jumped into my consciousness, the setting for this horrific post-apocalyptic middle grade-young adult novel could only be one place--JUNEBUG, OKLAHOMA.

Junebug, Oklahoma, is my Yoknapatawpha County.

See you in NEVЯLAND,

Larry Mike

PS: According to the USPS Zip Code website, the prefix 74- is actually an eastern Oklahoma zip. I had chosen 73666 as the original Zip Code but that's the Zip Code for Sweetwater, Oklahoma. There is no OK town with 74666, and so, I'll just take the criticism about placing a 74- prefix Zip Code in a 73- SW-OK setting.

Junebug, Oklahoma 74666--Where Hell Comes Sweeping down the Plains

One question I've been asked is, "Where is Junebug, Oklahoma?"

Simply, Junebug, Oklahoma, is in the southwest corner of Oklahoma on the border of Jackson and Harmon counties.

Junebug, Oklahoma's zip code is 74666.



You understand the symbolism.

Another question I've been asked is, "How did you come up with the name 'Junebug'?"

Over 20 years ago, the State of Oklahoma had a series of public service announcements about littering.

The PSAs featured a stereotypical Okie complete with beer gut, four-day stubble, cut-off country style shirt, ball cap, and soiled-ripped jeans. He drove a pickup.

And his name was Bubba.

Bubba lived in the town of Junebug, Oklahoma.

When I went to the library to search the map for the location of Junebug, I found there was no such city. (This is pre-Google days.)
So, I took the name and created my own small SW-Oklahoma town and county complete with its own unique and horrifying history.

You can read about the founding and horrific history of Junebug, Oklahoma, HERE.

I published some Junebug stories--all of them horror and macabre.

One day I received an email from an elderly woman who claimed she had lived near Junebug, Oklahoma, and wondered if it still existed or if was one of the hundreds of Oklahoma ghost towns.

Once again, I went to the library (pre-Google, remember) and did a more thorough search for Junebug.

No such town has ever existed in the State of Oklahoma, Indian Territory, or Oklahoma Territory.

This lady, though, insisted she have lived not far from Junebug, Oklahoma, and even knew people who had lived there back in the 1910s and 1920s.

No amount of persuasion on my part could convince her that I had gotten the idea from a TV PSA about littering and that I had created the town and the country from my fevered imagination.

Perhaps creating a realistic town and setting that people think they remember is actually what a writer should be doing.

I took the lady's persistence that Junebug, Oklahoma, was a real town from her childhood memory as a huge compliment!

So, when NEVЯLAND jumped into my consciousness, the setting for this horrific post-apocalyptic middle grade-young adult novel could only be one place--JUNEBUG, OKLAHOMA.

Junebug, Oklahoma, is my Yoknapatawpha County.

See you in NEVЯLAND,

Larry Mike

PS: According to the USPS Zip Code website, the prefix 74- is actually an eastern Oklahoma zip. I had chosen 73666 as the original Zip Code but that's the Zip Code for Sweetwater, Oklahoma. There is no OK town with 74666, and so, I'll just take the criticism about placing a 74- prefix Zip Code in a 73- SW-OK setting.

Junebug Journal, Special Edition #02 (AR), 13 May 2013

Dear NEVЯLANDers and Those Who are NEVЯLAND Curious:

Chad Chapman, Jr., who took over publication of the Junebug Journal when his father (Chad Chapman, Sr.) disappeared along with the other adults, has announced that Special Edition Issue #02 (AR) will be published this Saturday evening, 29 May 2010--which is Monday, 13 May 2013, in the NEVЯLAND time line.

You'll be able to read the Special Edition Issue #02 (AR) at http://nevrland.info/journal.html

This issue, which is labeled Junebug Journal, Special Edition Issue #02 (AR), will feature interviews with several of the remaining Children--what they think happened, where they think their parents and the other adults went, why only Children 17 and under were left behind, and what they think will happen next.

Click on the image to read the first Special Edition.

Make sure to invite your other Facebook Friends who are not citizens of NEVЯLAND yet to read this very Special Edition.

Some questions will be answered. More questions will arise.

See you on the bookshelves,

Larry Mike

NEVЯLAND—The Making of Literary Sausage

Dear Curious Reader:

Imagine watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel, starting with the blank ceiling, adding the outline to the figures of God and Adam at the moment of Human creation, and then as he slowly added hue and texture to each scene until he produced one of the greatest works of art in history—the story of Human creation and even destruction in one tiny space in the Universe.

Imagine listening to the first version of “Please, Please Me”, the Beatles first big hit. I’ve heard it. The original is slow, lumbering through a maudlin strain of boy-loves-girl teenage angst. It wasn’t very good until they sped it up and added tonal color to produce a celebration of boy-girl teenage love.

Or, imagine watching a building go up, from ground breaking through foundation laying to framing, and then finally the building is finished. We’re doing that now at Altus High School as we witness a nearly 80-year-old building being transformed to meet the needs of 21^st Century students.

And when the project is done—whether the Sistine Chapel, a great hit song, or a new building—it all looks like magic.

That’s what writing is—hard work that looks like magic in the end. Nathaniel Hawthorne said, “Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

And how many of us have read a good book and said, “That’s easy. I can do that.”

Lebron James makes “easy” clutch shots, eh?

Most readers don’t get the inside look at the making of a novel.

Maybe they shouldn’t. Maybe making a novel, like making sausage, isn’t something people should witness. I love sausage, but I really don’t want to see the butchering, the skinning, the gutting, hack-hack-hacking, and then the squeezing into the casings.

It’s not a pretty sight.

That’s what this is: NEVЯLAND—The Making of Literary Sausage.

I know what you're thinking: Wow! This guy is something else. He's comparing himself to Michelangelo, John Lennon and Paul McCartney, and Frank Lloyd Wright.

No. I'm just using those greats as examples to get your attention, to help those of you who are not writers better understand that no finished work of art or craft comes easily or appears as if by magic, that even the great artists and artisans start from a spark of an idea and go through the phases of butchering, skinning, hack-hack-hacking, and then squeezing into the casing to produce their best work..

Yes, I'm confident in my story—my characters, my plot, my conflicts, my over all scheme—enough so to share it with anyone who wishes to witness the making of NEVЯLAND from the beginning.

And I realize that others look at this confidence as arrogance or even conceit. So be it.

This is new to me, too. I'll stumble in the process. Unlike others, I'm stubborn enough to get up and keep troupering on until I reach the end, one way or another.

Will you like the story? Reading is subjective. Either you will like it or you won't. Or, you'll be stuck between liking and disliking. Maybe you won't like the way it is told. Maybe I use too many adjectives. Maybe I don't use enough adjectives. Maybe I don't show enough or I tell too much. We'll see.

Let me know what you think. You won't hurt my feelings. Well, maybe just a little, but I opened myself up to the slings and arrows.


Even cooks at five-star restaurants have their critics and detractors. I'm no different.

In my previous publications, I've received raves, and I've received rants. It happens. I live with the fact that not everybody will like me, like what I do, like what I create. And this gives me the freedom to go ahead and create freely without the fetters or manacles of popular opinion.


I do welcome feedback—both praise and problems. Something you may not know is that writers don't write in a vacuum. They workshop their tales, letting others read bits and pieces and wholes, receiving feedback, changing and shaping their tales until it's «readable».

While a writer writes first to please himself, he writes secondly (more importantly) to please the reader. A writer without a reader is like an ocean without a shore upon which to crash it's mighty waves majestically.

Here's the link: NEVЯLAND (RAW) Chapter 01


Read well. Read faithfully. Just Read.

Thank you for allowing me into your crowded space of time. I am most grateful and humbled indeed.

See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike

The Birth of NEVЯLAND

NEVЯLAND was born on 23 April 2010.

I was meditating about a story idea. A story that involved a 12-year-old protagonist in a post-apocalyptic setting.

I wanted to write a Middle Grade transitional to Young Adult end-of-the-world thriller that didn't involve genetic mutation and zombies.

I asked myself two questions:

1. What do teens, especially young teens, want more than anything else?
2. What do teens, especially young teens, fear more than anything else?
The answers to those two questions is exactly the same answer:

The disappearance of Parents and Adults.

I read once that when God wants to punish us, He answers our prayers.
What would the world be like if all the adults disappeared?

Lord of the Flies meets Home Alone meets Animal Farm jumped to mind as the comparable story lines, motifs, and themes.

First, I had to decide on the age of those who would disappear.

Of course, legal Adulthood--18-years-old.

That means the world is full of newborns through 17-years-old.

But, wait. The world is too big.

Let's make it one small town.

A small town in Southwest Oklahoma.

Junebug, Oklahoma.

Junebug, Oklahoma, is my fictional town for nearly all my stories loosely based on Altus, Oklahoma.

Like William Faulkner's fictional Yoknapatawpha County is based on his beloved Oxford, Mississippi.

And the kids left in Junebug really are the last people left on of Earth.

Only those between newborn and 17 living in Junebug have survived what the kids label the Rapture.

Laynie entrapped by the violence and hysteria of NEVЯLAND and by her own fear of helplessness and being alone.

What would happen?

How would the kids react?

How would the various age levels react?

Who would go crazy--insane?

Who would commit suicide?

Who would be in charge, try to take over, try to be a dictator?

Would the racial and ethnic make-up of the remaining kids be a factor? Of course, they would! People naturally seek safety not only in numbers but in numbers of their own kind--especially children.

Fear is a great motivator for story.

And what about the newborns? What would happen to them? Who would take care of them?

This applies to the infants and toddlers as well.

Not only that, the Rapture has not stopped. Any 17-year-old who turns 18 also disappears.

By Sunday, 25 April 2010, I had a 20,000 word single spaced outline of the first book.

There will be five books.

Because the protagonist is 13-years-old, each book covers a year in her life from the morning of the Rapture in the First Book to the day before her own 18th birthday in the Fifth Book--the next day she turns 18 and disappears.

I don't know why, but from the beginning my protagonist was female. At first she was 12, and then she aged one year by the time the First Book outline was complete.

This is how the idea moved from Mediation to What If Question to Outline to Story and is now proceeding full steam into Novel.

See you on the bookshelves.
Larry Mike

And All the Children Are Insane

I'm at a point in the opening of NEVЯLAND where hysteria and chaos have consumed the children like a fire gorging on dry grass.

To help with the mood, I'm listening to songs with themes of destruction, apocalypse, death, and end-of-the-world themes.

And the best of these death/apocalyptic songs is "The End" by The Doors--

"And all the children are insane
All the children are insane."

Enjoy the video and the song.

See you on the bookshelves

Larry Mike

NEVЯLAND--The Contest

Everyone loves a winner, and everyone loves to win!

To promote NEVЯLAND--The Novel WIP, I'm having a series of contests.
Here's the first contest I'm having:

The first person to refer ten of his/her Facebook friends to NEVЯLAND--The (WordPress) Blog or NEVЯLAND--The (Facebook) Group will get a signed hardcopy of the first draft of NEVЯLAND--The Novel WIP!

This is an actual draft with editing marks, margin notes, changes, coffee stains et cetera.

You'll have a copy of NEVЯLAND in its raw form.

You'll have to keep track of which of your FB Friends join The Group or The Blog and send me their names when you reach ten.

When you notice that ten of your Facebook Friends have joined The Blog or The Group, email me with their names, and I'll confirm you as a winner.

Check back often for updates for other NEVЯLAND--The Novel WIP Contests!

See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike Garmon

Description or Scenework: The Paradox of Story Telling

Description vs. Scenework. Hmmm . . . .


I´ve been told since day one of the first creative writing class I took and I pay many dollars a year to attend (and I´ve been paid many dollars to present at) conferences where I am reminded (and I remind others) ad naseum to write in scenes.

When I write a scene, do I view the scene as though I am writing a textbook or putting on a stage play?

Some tales I´ve read lately go into great protracted descriptive verbiage as though we, the readers, were sitting in our comfy chairs in our parlors in the 19th Century with no other distractions other than the occasional whippoorwill outside our collective windows and little more to do with our time except read long-winded descriptions of the setting, the characters, the time, et cetera.

I know. I wrote such a scene in my YA fantasy tale “Barmaglot”.

Worse yet, it was the opening nine pages!

My eagle-eyed critique partner pointed that out to me. I had written fine protracted purple prose. I was quite proud of my wordmanship and expertise with broadsword sentences and extravagant razor-sharp adjectives.

I should have used a dagger instead—quick, simple, efficient, to the point, and much more deadly, as well as (often) unseen until it’s too late.

I thought I had learned my lesson.

In NEVЯLAND (a WIP I’m slicing out now), I had what I thought was a strong, well-written paragraph, but something about it bothered me. I showed it to my teaching partner at school, and she was frustrated with the long paragraph, actually a single 60-word sentence broken up by a serious of commas.

All the commas were used properly and sitting in their proper places.

But the scene was exhausting to read.

“Break it up,” she said.

“You don’t like it? I think it conveys the idea nicely.”

“Well, obviously you think something is wrong with it, or you wouldn’t have shown it to me.”

She was right, of course, as usual.

I went back and broke up the long single 60-word sentence into several short, choppy sentences, and the scene tightened up immediately. It gave the reader a sense of hurried walking, which is what I was trying to do with the elongated sentence.

I love the theatre and acting and plays. I’ve written a couple of one-act dramas and still envision a play I’ve written being performed in regional theatre and then on off-off Broadway and then off Broadway and, finally, on Broadway! (Dream big or don’t dream at all.)

After the experiences of my critique partner and my teaching partner, I realized I needed to approach a scene in my novels and short stories the way I would approach a scene in a stage play—action and dialogue to move the story forward and avoid long rambling description, prolonged narrative, and extensive character exposition.

If the scene doesn´t play out on stage, it doesn´t play out on paper.

Description is necessary in telling a story in written form as a reader only views the setting, characters, and actions through the written word, unlike a stage play or movie.

However, the 19th and early 20th Centuries are long gone and buried with them are the multitude of paragraphs and proliferation of pages of protracted descriptive prose.

Today’s readers just won’t sit through such verbiage. Unless they are being held hostage on the tarmac of a shut-down airport or spending a very long two-day weekend with in-laws, they prefer to see as victims of a major crime.

Perhaps if I wrote my scenes the way artists painted Good Girl Art covers for those steamy potboiler pulp novels of the 1950s, I´d be able to quit my day job, eh?

I’m striving to achieve a happy medium: description with an emphasis on scenework rather than description apart from scenework. The two must be imbued as much as possible if the story is to move along and keep the reader engrossed and entertained and turning those pages and buying my next Great American Novel.

From now on, I´m using a dagger when I write my scenes rather than a broadsword. Using a dagger rather than a broadsword when writing scenes allows me to sneak in the bladed information before my victim (my reader) knows what has happened.

See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike Garmon